Archive for the ‘Paranoia’ Category

Bath salts banned! Buy now before it’s too late!

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

Not to be left behind in any new drug hysteria, Alabama has jumped on the “let’s define everything as a drug” bandwagon and outlawed “fake” bath salts.  As the drug war reaches the level of pure comedy, the public has large acquiesced to the continuous escalation of controls imposed on the public in the name of the drug war.

“This is fair warning to those who sell or possess this product. Get rid of it or go to jail,” [Etowah County Sheriff Todd Entrekin] said.

The bath salts scare is just the latest in a perpetual sequence of ludicrous epidemic “threats to our children” that are now being invented almost monthly.  It was only weeks ago when the caffeinated alcohol drink Four Loko was the subject of a fear mongering feeding frenzy that ultimately got it summarily banned by the FDA.  Remember when it actually took a Constitutional amendment to ban something in “the land of the free”.  Now all to takes is a warning letter from some self-serving federal appointee.  We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?

So why is this an issue for the Sex Hysteria! blog?  Well, what caught my attention in this latest installment of drug war idiocy is how Sex Toy Freedom Fighter Sherri Williams is treating the impending ban.  Sherri Williams is owner of Pleasures,  a chain of sex shops in Alabama, and her antics have become the topic of several postson Sex Hysteria! (here, here, and here).   Sherri will comply with the law, but she’s a veteran in the war against Alabama government absurdity and it shows in her attitude:

The bath salts have been sold in many stores across the Valley including Pleasures in Huntsville but Tuesday morning, the store put up a sign saying “Last Day! Bath Salt Banned Buy Now!”

Sex offenders may lose 1st Amendment Rights

Monday, February 14th, 2011

Vermont is considering a bill that would prohibit sex offenders from using an alias when posting on line.

Vermont lawmakers are considering making it a crime for convicted sex offenders to use false names on social media sites like Facebook, after one such incident was reported in the state.

One incident?  I guess it doesn’t take much to get a law introduced in Vermont.

Interesting how Facebook has taken over from Craigslist as the main playground for sex crazed adults looking to violate children.

The bill under review would make the crime a misdemeanor punishable by up to two years in jail. The committee said it would continue to consider the bill.

So merely using an alias can get you up to two years in prison, huh?  Remember the old days when you actually had to have an actual victim to get prison time?  Of course, the U.S. does have an reputation to maintain.

Thanks to Maggie McNeil for the link to this story.

Pedobear Fashion

Friday, January 7th, 2011

For those who aren’t familiar with this cute character, Pedobear was an invention of 4chan forum posters who used it to mock people interested in sexually suggestive pictures of children.  I wrote about Pedobear back in September when the San Luis Obispo County Sheriff’s Department issued a moronic warning equating he character to a cartoon pedophile.

For you Pedobear fans, a website called Catch Kuma is selling a Pedobear hat.   Is this the beginning of a new cartoon icon?  Will we soon be seeing Pedobear on Saturday morning cartoons eventually leading to a feature length animated production?   How about a theme park called Pedobearland (west coast) or Pedobear World (east coast)?  Only time will tell.

Thanks to Sex Hysteria reader Erick for the heads up.

The Pedofinder General!

Thursday, January 6th, 2011

Asehpe posted a link to this video over on The Honest Courtesan.   It’s a pretty fair representation of the level of absurdity that the pedophile paranoia has risen to.  The ever knowledgeable Maggie McNeil points out that the Pedofinder General is a play on the term Witchfinder General, a title claimed by Matthew Hopkins, a notorious witch hunter of 17th century England.

In any case, it makes its point with such bluntness, I just had to post it.

Virginia DMV sees child sex everywhere

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

This license plate was found by Mr D. B. Smit of the Virginia DMV to be in violation of their license plate guidelines after a complaint was received from an “anonymous citizen”.

From jalopnik.com:

A man in possession of the world’s greatest license plate has lost his battle with the Virginia DMV, who ridiculously claim it encourages oral sex with kids instead of just cannibalism.

The website also includes a copy of the letter from D.B. Smit of the DMV to the holder of plates demanding that he return them.

Dear Mr D.B. Smit:

Congratulations!  You have managed to take an innocent bit of benign humor (something the world could use more of) and magically transformed it into an example of paranoid absurdity that only an idiot state bureaucrat is capable of.   When advanced alien life forms visit earth and declare that the only way to save it is to destroy it, they will probably be thinking of assholes like you.

Wikileaks drone destroys Afghan village

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

From the Daily Mash:

The slaughter came just hours after the website, popular with paedophiles and smokers, published 250,000 secret documents that revealed, for only the 78 millionth time in human history, that governments are run by the sort of utter tosspots you wouldn’t have in your house.

Facebook campaign a pedophile ruse?

Monday, December 6th, 2010

A Facebook campaign that urges children to replace their profile pictures with cartoon characters is running into some controversy.  According to the UK news outlet Mail Online:

The campaign, which urges the image swap, has swept the social networking site and boasts a group page of nearly 90,000 fans.

However, disturbingly, rumours are now sweeping the net that the campaign is actually a smokescreen for paedophiles hoping to narrow down which users are children.

Could it be that real pedophiles are using the  stranger danger hysteria to more readily identify children?

The Facebook message reads: ‘Change your FB picture to a cartoon from your childhood. The goal is not to see a human face on FB until Monday (Dec 6th) Join the fight against child abuse & copy and paste to your status!

No one has come forward to claim responsibility for the campaign.

Facebook has responded to the new wave of paranoia with a statement:

‘We’re concerned with the suggestion that paedophiles could use this successful viral campaign to target young people. This is not the case.

Barbie Doll child predator porn cam!

Saturday, December 4th, 2010

Toy maker Mattel is eying  the child predator population as an untapped market to bolster its bottom line.  Anyone who watches cable news these days, knows that child predators represent a significant portion of the population, for which there are barely enough children to go around.  One can hardly blame a toy company for seeing dollar signs at the mere thought of the absolute deficit of tools available to assist child predators in their mission.

CNN, in kind of a how-to video, evaluated one of the latest entries in the arsenal of pedophile gear which just happens to be an innovative predator-cam cleverly disguised as a harmless Barbie doll.  Meet Barbie Video Girl!

But, the ever watchful FBI is already onto Mattel’s plan to outfit the pervert population with advanced child porn video production technology and has issued a warning.

According to the CNN report:

The FBI is warning law agencies that the new Barbie “Video Girl” doll could be used as a tool by pedophiles to make child pornography.

In an alert entitled “Barbie ‘Video Girl’ a Possible Child Pornography Production Method,” the FBI said the doll has a built-in hidden camera in the chest and a small LCD screen for video display in her back.

The FBI alert backs up their warning with cold hard numbers illustrating the pervasive use of Barbie dolls as an enticement to lure children into the clutches of child sexual predators from coast to coast:

“FBI investigation has revealed instances where an individual convicted of distributing child pornography had given a Barbie doll to a 6 year old girl,” the alert said.

It is certainly commendable that the FBI has taken time out from its mission of tracking down terrorists out to annihilate the American population in order to warn the public of the imminent danger posed by what most people naively see as a harmless doll.

While Mattel may be boycotted by parents who see only the negative side to child predators, those parents probably wield only a tiny fraction of the market power commanded by the huge population of pedophiles and their various trade associations.

It’s no wonder Barbie Video Girl is one of Mattel’s toy of the year award nominees.

Given Barbie Video Girl’s body scan profile, she will probably be denied access to air travel.

Barbie Video Girl TSA Full Body Scan

Disclaimer:  This post contains parody.

Thanks to readers Maggie McNeil and BoogaFrito for the links to this story.

I highly recommend reading an essay over at the Honest Courtesan about Barbie’s beginnings as a sexy adult doll named Lilli.

Nigger banned from Florida High School

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

This has actually been in the news for several days, but it’s not sex related, so I hadn’t intended to post about it.  I have changed my mind.

When the kids at Flagler Palm Coast High School wanted to perform the play, To Kill a Mockingbird, an apparently anonymous “school committee” shut the idea down because the play uses “a racial slur”.  The racial slur in question is the word “nigger” or, if you’re a member of any mainstream media outlet “the N-word“.

Keep in mind as you read the following quote from the Daytona Beach News-Journal that the person commenting leads a mentoring program and was one of those who recommended canceling the show:

John Winston, who said he’d spent the last five years “in the trenches” at the district, said he was disgusted with the news media’s coverage of the issue. The press has painted the show’s cancellation as a censorship issue when it is not, he said.

“It’s not about the ‘N-word,’ ” he said. “It’s about education.”

Well, here’s a wake-up call for you, Mr. Winston.  Yes, it is censorship and yes, it is about the so-called N-word and your comments to the contrary insult the intelligence of everyone they’re directed at.

Why is it that people who work with kids and should know better, always underestimate their intelligence?  Not only are kids probably far better able to handle the play’s language than the adults, they are almost certainly able to see that what’s being passed off as “concern” is really irrational paranoia.

Here we have school officials banning a play that condemns racism and then can’t even bring itself to utter the very word they are banning it for, as if the mere arrangement of letters, absent any negative context, can cause harm.  By this process, the school is training their students in the art of being perpetually paranoid about saying or writing the wrong thing.  They are teaching children to feel as if they must walk on eggshells in everything they say, because someone somewhere might be offended.

That educators don’t understand the rudimentary concept that words are simply tools of communications is stunning.  Absent any intent on the part of the speaker to offend, words do not have the power on their own to offend.

In the 16th century, upon the condemnation of nudity in religious art by the Council of Trent, a painter named Daniele da Volterra was commissioned to paint clothes on the nude figures of Michelangelo’s art in the Sistine Chapel.  That painter will forever be known for that act.  Likewise, Mr Winston and his fellow committee members have established their own legacy of idiocy.

The Great Dunkin’ Donuts Boob Scandal

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Dunkin Donuts is backtracking, denying, and otherwise obfuscating about a breast feeding incident at one of their New Jersey stores where the police were called in to quell the disturbance and restore order, morality, and modesty before the entire neighborhood descended into a quagmire of crime, corruption, and vice.

From a post at CafeMom.com:

“It finally happened. A friend and I were just told not to breastfeed in Dunkin Donuts because there are “other people there”. I was going to leave and just write a letter to Dunkin Donuts headquarters suggesting that they educate their employees better. The police were called, though.”

In a candid outburst, a spokesman for Dunkin’ Donuts declared:

“That’s a fucking crock of shit.  Those bitches are lying.  Employees called the cops because the mother changed the baby’s diaper in the store and we were terrified of being fingered by Amber Lyon of CNN for trafficking naked babies.”

In a brief written statement, Dunkin’ Donuts clarified things:

“We have no stores in New Jersey and wouldn’t put any there if it were the last place on earth.  It must have happened at a Krispy Kreme.”

Calls to the local police department failed to shed any light on the events, being instead connected to a standardized recording which dened any responsibility and claimed that all injuries, deaths, and property damage was caused by criminals who will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Disclaimer:  This post contains sarcasm and parody.